October | 2011 | Fongster8's Xanga Site

The news about a pending new addition to my family was somewhat tinged by tragedy. An indirect member of my family committed suicide a couple of days ago. I don’t know the circumstances as yet as one of my siblings had to rush off with the partner.

When this was mentioned to one of my friends, I was shocked by her reaction: she thought “it was brave to find the courage to end one’s life cos of the misery you feel”. My reaction? What. The. Fuck? How is it brave to take one’s own life? Granted, my friend is still recovering from her breakup of a long term relationship at the beginning of the year and might not be thinking rationally. I wasn’t prepared for her disclosure that suicide had entered her thoughts a few months ago. Fear of the pain and how messy it might be prevented her from committing the act. Her girlfriends dragged her to the doctor and enrolled her for counselling sessions. Unfortunately counselling is not covered by the private health insurance provided by her new company that she started employment with last month.

I’m beginning to fear that morbid tendencies might be creeping back into her train of thought as a result. She’d commented suicide would be easier with a gun and that she has “respect for those that can go through with it.” In an effort to help her, I’d revealed something personal that only a couple of people know about and since it was a long time ago I no longer have any reservations about such a disclosure. I myself was suicidal when I was 18-19 years old. I was suffering from depression at the time. Thoughts about the methods of ending it all and where constantly plagued my mind.

My friend is now being mildly dismissive, telling me she “is going through something that I probably never had before.”

She has always been a vivacious person, at least on the surface, and I hope she will emerge from her dark period soon.

Where Have I Been?

Since my last travel blog was about the trip to Mexico and Miami in September 2010, and the sheer volume of photos accumulated since then, I have decided to just post one or a couple of pics of the destinations I have visited since that time. Those who are friends with me on Facebook have access to all those photos.