November 13, 2007

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  I’m Off

  
  

  To India, that is. A whole new world for me to explore. To be eaten alive by mosquitoes, to be hounded by touts, to be targeted by con-artists, and to suffer dysentery for two weeks. Hmm. Rather like Vietnam, Cambodia, and Thailand then. Not such a new world after all.

  
  

  See you all in two weeks time during my recovery!

  
  

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  Another One Hitched

  
  

  An old friend of mine invited me to her recent wedding and obviously I’d obliged. How could I not? To see her become officially chained to the kitchen evoked such pride. I’m kidding of course. She and I always joked about such male chauvisitic vernculars before my departure to the Dam.  

  
  

  
  

  
  

  

  
  

  

  
  

  
  The wedding brought together a host of friends I haven’t see in ages, especially her cousins whom I have known since we were kids back in Liverpool. One of them I will be visiting in Delhi and another will be getting married in Italy next September. I’m already planning my itinerary for that trip.

  
  

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  MTV EMA 2008

  
  

  The MTV European Music Awards 2008 will be staged in my hometown of Liverpool next November! The venue will be the still-under construction Arena.    

  
  

  

  
  

  
  

  The Arena is one of the many new architecural buildings under construction for Liverpool to be the European Capital City of Culture 2008. Next year would be the year to visit.

  
  

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  Drunken Priest

  
  

  A new priest at his first mass was so nervous he could hardly speak.
  
  After mass he asked the monsignor how he had done.
  
  The monsignor replied, “When I am worried about getting nervous on the pulpit, I put a glass of vodka next to the water glass. if I start to get nervous, I take a sip.”
  
  So next Sunday he took the monsignor’s advice. At the beginning of the sermon, he got nervous and took a drink. He proceeded to talk up a storm.
  
  Upon his return to his office after mass, he found the following note on the door:
  
  1. Sip the Vodka, don’t gulp.
  2. There are 10 commandments, not 12.
  3. There are 12 disciples, not 10.
  4. Jesus was consecrated, not constipated.
  5. Jacob wagered his donkey, he did not bet his ass.
  6. We do not refer to Jesus Christ as the late J. C.
  7. The Father, Son, and Holy Ghost are not referred to as Daddy, Junior and the Spook.
  8. David slew Goliath, he did not kick the shit out of him.
  9. When David was hit by a rock and was knocked off his donkey,don’t say he was stoned off his ass.
  10. We do not refer to the cross as the “Big T.”
  11. When Jesus broke the bread at the Last Supper he said, “Take this and eat it for it is my body.” He did not say “Eat me”
  12. The Virgin Mary is not called “Mary with the Cherry,”
  13. The recommended grace before a meal is not: Rub-A-Dub-Dub thanks for the grub, yeah God.
  14. Next Sunday there will be a taffy pulling contest at St. Peter’s, not a Peter pulling contest at St. Taffy’s!
  

  
  

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  What A Jam

  
  

  

  
  

   

  
  

   

  • 11:29 am
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