October 19, 2004
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Icebreakers
In my previous post, three scenarios were set out in approaching one or any of the Brooklyn Babes. These were actual incidents that ocurred. Now finally, what happened afterwards can be revealed.
Scenario 1
Guy: “Can I buy you a drink?”
Brooklyn Babe lifts up her glass to show him she already has a drink in her hand.
Guy walks off.
Pointer from a Brooklyn Babe: “Your drink can’t be any good as your glass is still nearly full. Let me buy you another.”
Scenario 2
Guy: “Are you by yourself?”
Brooklyn Babe turns to her side and behind her to see if there was someone actually with her that she didn’t know about, her actions stating the obvious.
Guy walks off.
Pointer from Brooklyn Babe: “Your friend must have left you behind. Allow me to join you.”
Scenario 3
Guy: “Do you wanna dance?”
Brooklyn Babe: “No.”
Guy: “If you don’t want to dance then let’s talk instead.”
With the Brooklyn Babes, persistence is the key. They like to see how much effort they are worth for the guy to exert in order to chat to them. Of course, the amount of persistence has to be balanced out where it does not cross over into annoying harrassment. So take note all you stalkers! The Brooklyn Babes are well equipped in self defence!
One observation I gleaned from this is that shy guys won’t stand a chance with approaching any of the Brooklyn Babes. They maintain confident women like confident men but alot of them turn out to be arrogant tossers. If confident women don’t give shy guys an opportunity then they could well miss out on knowing a nice and decent bloke. Maybe that is why nice guys always finish last..?
Still on the subject of the Brooklyn Babes…
Happy Birthday Chinafong!
You don’t look a day over 35 me old china! Just kidding!
Pic courtesy of Ms Blackbean
chinafong thinking, “Thanks for the cake girls but it’s ALL mine!”
By The Way
How do you like my new profile pic?? Talk about being caught in a comprising position! Someone asked me to be original and different in taking a pic of myself so that was the result. Then I had the great idea to use it as a profile pic!
Dr. Fongster’s Surgery
From fireplug
Dr. Fongster,
I was wondering…how do you respond to a boyfriend who insults you and calls you a puckered butthole?
Simple. Tell him he was lucky to see your puckered butthole at all because it’s now out of his sight and from thereon all he will see will be other people’s hairy arseholes.
Alternatively, show him who is boss by kicking him where it really hurts.
If you’re looking for insults, I am in the middle of writing The Fongster’s Guide To Insulting And Humilating Fucktards. Price to be announced. If you’re lucky, I might sign your copy as one day it will be worth a fortune.
The Icebreakers piece gave me the idea to repost this line of jokes.
Ways To Turn Men Down
HE: Can I buy you a drink?
SHE: Actually I’d rather have the money.
HE: I’m a photographer. I’ve been looking for a face like yours.
SHE: I’m a plastic surgeon. I’ve been looking for a face like yours.
HE: Hi. Didn’t we go on a date once? Or was it twice?
SHE: Must’ve been once. I never make the same mistake twice.
HE: How did you get to be so beautiful?
SHE: I must’ve been given your share.
HE: Will you go out with me this Saturday?
SHE: Sorry. I’m having a headache this weekend.
HE: Your face must turn a few heads.
SHE: And your face must turn a few stomachs.
HE: Go on, don’t be shy. Ask me out.
SHE: Okay, get out.
HE: I think I could make you very happy.
SHE: Why? Are you leaving?
HE: What would you say if I asked you to marry me?
SHE: Nothing. I can’t talk and laugh at the same time.
HE: Can I have your name?
SHE: Why? Don’t you already have one?
HE: Shall we go see a movie?
SHE: I’ve already seen it.
HE: Where have you been all my life?
SHE: Hiding from you.
HE: Haven’t I seen you some place before?
SHE: Yes. That’s why I don’t go there anymore.
HE: Is this seat empty?
SHE: Yes, and this one will be if you sit down.
HE: So, what do you do for a living?
SHE: I’m a female impersonator.
HE: Hey baby, what’s your sign?
SHE: Do not enter.
HE: Your body is like a temple.
SHE: Sorry, there are no services today.
HE: If I could see you naked, I’d die happy.
SHE: If I saw you naked, I’d probably die laughing.
HE: Where have you been all my life?
SHE: Where I’ll be the rest of your life – in your wildest dreams.
Comments (41)
Ha! I’m the first to comment! YES!
Love the profile pic! Classic–
Um, so are you a shy guy?
I love the “ways to turn a man down”! That’s awesome! I always get a laugh and a half! you rawk!
~m
HE: Go on, don’t be shy. Ask me out.
SHE: Okay, get out.
love it!!
and the pic..too funny!
wow..just saw the profile pic too..so funny!
LOL. Those are great. I loved what happened with the Brooklyn Babes. And those one-liners. HAHAHAHAHA. Gotta love those.
brooklyn babes haha. Wow anorexia then it should be written at the back of his shirt that i didn’t beat obesity lol
Cool site here.
ways to turn men down – LOL (at office), this is hilarious! thanks for the jokes :D
profile pic – good lah!
actually, i don’t upload music to any site. i wish i could! my background music was taken from http://www.xanga.com/xanga_music
ur latest profile pic was the first thing that caught my eye. lol.
i think the brooklyn babes are so cool
love the one liners – i’ll remember those the day i actually turn a guy down. haha
ryc: that’s why its called a workout duh…;)
so you were the guy who came up and approached me with all those lines? no wonder i saw you had a notepad in your back pocket haha J/K
WOOO HOOO to the profile pic if i have 3 thumbs they would all be up!
I love to be there, but hate to leave it.
Dr Fongster,
your profile pic has made me very upset. I find it most offending and I want you to remove it.
it is most unprofessional. Xanga is a place where we want to see flowers and babies and rainbows and bunnies…
please explain yourself….
patient #253
those responses are good…what can you say to a guy with wit and persistence…
Anyway, you’re looking fine in your profile pic. It’s my favorite so far.
Also, I just watched that movie yesterday. Pretty good, huh?
wow…i hope that all brooklyn girls aren’t THAT cruel..there’s playing hard-to-get, and then there’s just being flat out cruel and evil..don’t get the two mixed up!
oOoh I have to learn from these brooklyn girls. And “ways to turn men down”…I’m too shy to say things like that. I mean sometimes I think of them but end up saying “oh no thanks” and turn around.
Hehe…that new profile pic…
take care!
since when does nice = shy? is it not possible for a nice guy to be confident as well? “nice guys finish last..” is so tired.
THANK YOU DAHLING..!!!! I may be starting to look my age, but I don’t feel a day over 16…hehe…. =)
You can come visit me in Turkey — I am always trying to get people over here, this country is great. And your site rocks
haha….love the profile pic!! about shy guys not standing a chance, that’s not true! I think it’s so cute that a guy acts all shy around u…=)
Oh for crying out loud. You have to ask yourself why these women are still single. There’s “playing hard to get” and there’s “total pain in the ass”. Sometimes the line gets crossed and what, the guys are expected to notice? Sheesh. Like I said, if they feel so strongly about being all that, being a Ya-Ya Sister, Sex-in-the-City-liberated or Ally-McBealesque, then I tend to make a seriously wide berth. It’s just not worth the hassle.
haha…nice profile pic…= D
Love the bar story…u did a good job of presenting it…heehee… = )
love those one-liners…but i always used to forget them at the moment when i’d need them! :O
i think i beat anorexia too!!! hahahahaha that’s so mean….and yet i laugh. i am going straight to hell….no passing go and collecting $200, just straight to hell….into the pits even. hehehehe
i like the follow up to the pick up scenarios. the brooklyn babes are right….a little persistence and charm go a long way. and it sucks that shy people get overlooked too often….but that’s life…..shy people should just tell us loud motherf**kers to shut the f**k up!!!! SORRY SHY PEOPLE!!!
oh, and last but not least, ten thumbs up for the new profile pic!!!! hehehehehe i especially love the look of surprise on your face! =D
indeed confidence is key
this Brooklyn Babes’ two cents: i dont usually give “nice guys” a hard time. i’m fairly friendly and open to talk to anyone. at the same time, i can be a tough cookie when i wanna, but i completely agree that if you dont give nice shy guys a chance, they WILL always finish last. but usually, once i give the “roll of eyes” it’s definitely over, so you better walk away.
HAHAHAHAH!! Your new pic. kills me! It’s better than my goof off ones…I think I have too much pizza.
Hilarious post David! Love the section on ways to turn men down. I will definitely remember those.
The profile pic looks good. I like spontaneous pics – they’re a lot of fun. But is that a sink you’re in front of, or a urinal? Looks like a sink, but wasn’t totally sure. And I like the advice the Babes gave in your icebreaker section. Sorry I’m such a bore on AIM. Take care!
the pic would be a lot more interesting if you had your pants down and facing the urinal. you know, for a bit of realism. heh
yeah, it’s a pity the shy guys are so easily turned away. they’re the ones worth knowing. but whatever
Oops – wanted to add that I totally dig the nice guys and wouldn’t use the Babes’ suggested lines. Many nice guys are shy, and sometimes I would have to be the one to break the ice.
Paycheck… where did I saw that movie?
so i got another question.
this is the girl who asked about how to put links to old posts on the left side module
how do the specific url of an old post?
thx.; )
hilarious icebreakers and reject lines btw
keep doing what you do
I have a pic of my little brother assuming the same stance as you did in your profile pic… but he was facing a big potted plant instead, hehe…
lol, confident men who turn out to be arrogant tossers. that has to be the best statement ever. though I agree with some of the other folks that “nice guys” aren’t always quiet. I’ve met a couple of really nice men who are mildly confrontational. I’m not saying your statement is entirely wrong, just pointing out that there are those few “strong nice guys”.
LMAO thats one great profile pic…..you deserve the random props…
get back when you can
If you’re shy, what gave you the guts to approach a babe in the 1st place? Why not finish what you started and see how far you can get? If you can think of the 1st line, why can’t you think of the 2nd line, 3rd line, etc? But here’s a tip: You’ll know you’re breaking the ice if she is smiling at you.
You are f-king awesome and you have A LOT of free time too..
That profile picture is hilarious and crass at the same time!
“I beat anorexia”
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA!
that’s a riot, and i love it!!!!!!!!!!!!
those turn downs are hilarious^_^
nice guys finish last because they’re are pushovers, and pushovers never win. and as for the scenarios? i dont think i have ever used those three worn-out lines before. if you really wanna pick up on girls, you gotta get creative. persistence is only half the battle. a girl wouldnt’ want a strong-willed bore. i usually start off with “you know…” well, i can’t think of anything clever to say right now, it’s too early in the morning.
Your Brookyln Babes excerpt is a most valuable schooling lesson! hah hah…