October 14, 2004
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Are New York Women Stuck-up? Revisited
Recap:
During my previous visit to New York in September of last year, Ms C took me to a party where I was engaged in a conversation with three Asian guys. The topic of discussion was their subjective notion that New York women are stuck-up, in particular Asian females. It was their belief that unless the guy possesses good looks, money, an apartment and a car then NY women would not give the guy the time of day. One of them lamented how none of the women in the party would chat with him when approached. Ms C at the time even agreed that NY women are stuck-up. Ms A admitted she is stuck-up but only because she doesn’t want to be bothered by “little boys” when out with her friends.
I’d wrote a post regarding this subject a few months ago and read again the comments that were written in response (complete with their original spelling and grammar errors):
mmmmiko
a friend of mine who just moved to boston from seattle claims that all the girls on the east coast are like that =/ that’s why the west coast is cooler heh but you live in amsterdam which is way cooler than anything
aai2on
you know what it is with nY woman … its not that they’re stuck up, but they have a constant guard up. nYc is a VERY shady and manipulative city. the way i see it is, woman here are just smart. and guys will only say that they are stuck up because they cant get them. not because they dont have money and shopping spree’s to offer but they just dont have character.
ive live in nYc all my life and i would NEVER say that nYc girls are stuck up. they just know what they want, how they want it. what it comes down to is .. can you hang?! i most definitely have never had a problem .. and im also not one that has much materialistic things to offer.
moonlitaria
i would say NY women are stuck up.. but then again, i get rejected a lot
chinafong
I agree with aai2on, that NYC women are just constantly on their guard… I’m not agreeing just cuz I happen to be in that category that’s being offended, but I honestly feel that the harsh dangers of the real world hits us harder in the Big Apple, and we have to be prepared for whatever might be heading our way!
shopaholic79
Being a fellow new yorker, I also agree with aai2on and my dear friend chinafong….there are a lot of untrustworthy people here and we just have to be careful of who we associate with….who knows, the person sitting next to u could be the next rapist…or if u meet someone at a bar or club they could slip something into ur drink and u won’t even know what hit u till the next day….stuff like that…So guys, we are not stuck up at all……just protecting ourselves…
candy156sweet
Here is my take …
Women from New york are tougher but still have a sense of community.
Women from New Jersey are stuck up but basically do not care if someone else thinks so. Some of them can care less about what is going on in someone elses life.
Being that I have lived in both of these places I have become an exception to the rule.
secondgendragonlegends
In regards to the NYC women, there’s one constant trend with Asians:
The more attractive the woman, the more money the guy’s going to have to spend to keep her happy.
It’s a prerequisit amongst all of them who are born attractive to be capitalistic and use what they’ve got to get what they want. Afterall, an asian guy is going to do whatever they can to retain the status of keeping a trophy girlfriend. Unfortunately looks, although above average, doesn’t usually equade to a great personality, intelligence, chemistry, or great sex. Unfortunatly majority of Asians are shallow and don’t really care about the emotional necessities.
lollihart
Coming from NY and then leaving it but through various trips back and to I believe I can comment on this subject….I do agree that NY girls are more stuck up. Notice I said ‘more stuck up’ vs. stuck up b/c we all know that all girls are stuck up. We think we’re the shit, that we got the whole package, that is called self-esteem. However, NY girls are just more stuckup then other states. Why?
I believe it’s because of how segregated the races are…before coming out to california, i didn’t knwothat you can truly become friends with a white guy, much less date one, but hey, that’s another story. In NY esp., le’ts just use asians for example, it seems that each ethnic race thinks that there’s is the shit, the premium, the strongest, the ultimate race!!! growl…… chinese will only hang with chinese, taiwanese with taiwanese, koreans with koreans, japanese with others etc etc. Few segregate out of the group unless for social protocol but why do you need to talk outside the group with inferious race people?? (Stay in your group is the motto)
i want to wander off the topic and introduce the theory that because of this, if you’re into material things i.e. nice car, nice job, you would only hang with and thus be attracted to that type and closed to whoever isn’t. if you’re a wanna-be gangsta chick, hellno I wouldn’t wanna hang with you if you’re a preppy dressing kid.. etc etc…..
As for the argument that NY is a rough city and we gotta watch our backs, hey so do us all in the other parts of the world, much less the US!! “It’s not what socieyt makes of us, but what we make of society”
Again, this is totally a generalization on NY Chicks and does not reflect all of them. I’m a perfect example that not all California Chicks are nice.
secretcharmz
There’s always two sides to a story. For me to say that nyc women aren’t stuck-up is a lie. Its like the bell curve with the minority on two extreme sides of the spectrum. Extremely stuck-up, and extremely desperate. Most of us fit in the middle of the spectrum, we’re down to earth, easy going, great conversationalists. U gotta meet more nyc women, we’re not so bad as some ppl say.
Now fast forward twelve months. What opinion am I of now after my recent stint in New York? Truth be told, I really don’t know. The women I met that aren’t part of the xanga community are friends of those that were. So none that were complete strangers. And they were all socialable. Not a drop of snobbiness. However, there was one incident that is relevant to this topic but it did not involve yours truly.
On the Friday night at the bar/club Plan B, the entire establishment was shaking with gyrating bodies influxed with a heavy Asian contingent. A school of fixated eyes were focused on one particular fit, scantily dressed Asian girl dancing provocatively. One of the guys I was with that night approached the girl and said, “You dance really well.”
The girl shreiked in horror like a frightened mouse and scurried behind her male friend. The guy was dejected with a heavily bruised and intractable ego.
Did her actions marked the girl to be stuck-up?
Probably not.
Dr. Fongster’s Surgery
From littledottie
So where can I get a life for a cheap price? Haha, I was thinking e-bay, any better suggestions?
Littledottie, I am particularly concerned that you view yourself as cheap. Your low self esteem appals me. I have a remedy for you. Every time you see a mirror, be it at home, in a store, outside a store, in a public restroom, on the side of a car, I want you to look at your reflection and shout loudly, “I AM NOT CHEAP!”
This exercise must be performed every time a mirror is within sight of you. Pretty soon you will feel empowered as your mind conditions itself to feel more high maintenance.
Ebay? My prescription would be to try Craig’s List instead.
New York Trip
Monday 27 September 2004
After lunch at a fast food joint located in Madison Square Park, I’d headed out to Newark Airport for my return flight back to Amsterdam. Arriving at Penn Station only to discover that it was closed due to a fire, it was an exigency to seek alternative transport to reach the airport.
A heavily congested PATH train was taken to Penn Station in New Jersey where every train was either cancelled or substantially delayed. The platform was over-crowded but the station staff was exceptionally patient and polite despite the unexpected eruption. After waiting a hour, my train arrived and a mad scramble and scrum to board the vehicle were triggered.
Fortunately, the next stop was Newark. Next time, I thought to myself, I will return to flying into JFK. As I boarded my plane, wouldn’t you know it? As in my outbound flight, there was someone sitting in my seat yet again! After clearing the mild confusion and sitting myself down to fasten my seatbelt, my thoughts glazed to my next peripatetic adventure in November – a trip with the lads in London to Hong Kong with a possible excursion to either Vietnam, Korea or China. A holiday with the boys. Should be blissfully fun.
As the plane ascended, my mind rewinded and played the days spent in New York. The fantastic time that I had, the wonderful people that I had met, the question continually sprayed my thoughts, “I wonder when would be the next time I will be back in New York?”
Busy In Heaven
Three men were standing in line to get into Heaven one day. Apparently, it had been a pretty busy day, though, so St. Peter had to tell the first one, “Heaven’s getting pretty close to full today, and I’ve been asked to admit only people who have had particularly horrible deaths. So what’s your story?”
The first man replies: “Well, for a while I’ve suspected my wife has been cheating on me, so today I came home early to try to catch her red-handed. As I came into my 25th floor apartment, I could tell something was wrong, but all my searching around didn’t reveal where this other guy could have been hiding. Finally, I went out to the balcony, and sure enough, there was this man hanging off the railing, 25 floors above ground! By now I was really mad, so I started beating on him and kicking him, but wouldn’t you know it, he wouldn’t fall off. So finally I went back into my apartment and got a hammer and starting hammering on his fingers. Of course, he couldn’t stand that for long, so he let go and fell-but even after 25 stories, he fell into the bushes, stunned but okay. I couldn’t stand it anymore, so I ran into the kitchen, grabbed the fridge, and threw it over the edge where it landed on him, killing him instantly. But all the stress and anger got to me, and I had a heart attack and died there on the balcony.”
“That sounds like a pretty bad day to me,” said Peter, and let the man in.
The second man comes up and Peter explains to him about heaven being full, and again asks for his story.
“It’s been a very strange day. You see, I live on the 26th floor of my apartment building, and every morning I do my exercises out on my balcony. Well, this morning I must have slipped or something, because I fell over the edge. But I got lucky, and caught the railing of the balcony on the floor below me. I knew I couldn’t hang on for very long, when suddenly this man burst out onto the balcony. I thought for sure I was saved, when he started beating on me and kicking me. I held on the best I could until he ran into the apartment and grabbed a hammer and started pounding on my hands. Finally I just let go, but again I got lucky and fell into the bushes below, stunned but all right. Just when I was thinking I was going to be okay, this refrigerator comes falling out of the sky and crushes me instantly, and now I’m here.”
Once again, Peter had to concede that that sounded like a pretty horrible death.
The third man came to the front of the line, and St. Peter asked for his story.
“Picture this,” says the third man, “I’m hiding naked inside a refrigerator…”
Comments (51)
we’re not stuck up. we’re more closed off and not as friendly but thats due to our environment and how we grew up
i have my very own stuck-up NY woman theory. only its not limited to the women of New York, but all metropolises in general. and its not limited to being stuck-up either, but totally fkd-up and misprioritizing. ooh, look, my bitterness is hanging out! *tuck*
“my mind rewinded and played the days spent in New York” I liked that!
Mmm I don’t really have a clue about women from NY
Take care!
i was also suprised he would take a pic with me, funny thing is I don’t even like Oasis, that much!
i agree with aaron wholeheartedly. as for that secondgendragonlegends chap, that’s found everywhere. maybe you should broaden your scope so you’d be able to see it.
hey, what the fuq?! you misquoted me! *grrrr*
what i said was…NY women are a bit standoff-ish….but compared to asian girls on the west coast, i dont think we’re AS stuck up. i think i would describe asian girls in nyc as being guarded, definitely — because i agree wtih aaron’s conclusion that new york is a very shady town and you have to be fast-talking and quick-witted. it MIGHT come off to outsiders as a sign of snobbiness, or rudeness, etc., but in fact, we’re just trying to assess the situation before actually diving in. conclusion: standoffish.
now, the girls on the west coast are a different matter. i’ve met girls from the west coast, and i get the snooty vibe from them more than east coast girls. west coast, meaning california, is a very superficial town, and it’s all about appearances. so i would think if you’re not dressed right, driving right, eating right, etc., you’re likely to be turned away and ignored. i think that’s a rarity in new york, unless you meet someone in nyc who is actually from out of town.
now fix my quote!
Well in a comment that I made a while back “You must be happy to be home after traveling.” You responded with “No, I’m not glad to be in Amsterdam”. I know traveling has its’ perks but it’s always nice to be back home. You’ve been to so many places, doesn’t it get expensive. My summer trip to Europe still has me paying. lol. Well, take care.
I certainly didn’t disappear into a refrigerator!
I didn’t come across any stuck-up women in NYC, but sure did in CA, believing that it’s for their own saftey, and I don’t blame them!
there’s stuck up women EVERYWHHEERREEE. chances are theyre either
1) drop dead gorgeous
2) rich
or
3) both numbers 1 and 2
im not saying all rich/pretty girls are. you know what i mean, i hope.
hmmmm it depends, in the city people tend to be more stuck up though than say the good ol’ country lol.
-Lindsay
I have to agree it’s got something to do with environment and not being trusting. Now if it was someone you were friends or acquainted with and they acted all higher than mighty, then that I would call stuck up. You know, the ones that have an attitude while ordering coffee at Starbucks. As for race, I wouldn’t know how much that would factor into it. Maybe your friend approached more Asian women so it would just seem like that. I dunno
oh and I love your advice as Dr. Fongster. I’m gonna try that next time I’m in public near a mirror. hehehehehe
Madison Square Park – was it the Shake Shack? i love that place!
I think there are arrogant people everywhere. The topic of arrogance aside, I think New York women are a little more collected and cultured than let’s say, California women. Honestly, from my visit to New York, I think NY women are a lot less materialistic than CA women! In LA, if you go vintage store/thirft store shopping, you have to be dressed to impress! It is about who has the hottest car, house and boyfriend/girlfriend in LA! Beauty and thinness rule here in CA. I feel a lot more comfortable in NY. Well, at least socially. As for the guys being rejected by women, I would think NY women would be a bit more picky about the state of a guy’s intelligence and sophistication; financial situation aside.
THat picture is hilarious!
And….hey now…(ryc), men can be just as dumb.
Hmmm…yea, like many things, stereotypes are just that. I doubt the girl was stuckup. I read someone’s blog that mentioned a girl saying she’ll never date another Asian guy cuz they are all controlling. The blogger responded with, “wow. You dated that many Asian guys? Are you a ho, or do you just date entire communities so you can make that decision.”
HAHA
well, trying to pick up girls at a bar/club is shady to begin with. so a woman can’t help but be defensive and somewhat stuck-up to random men who approach her.
never met anyone from ny but I guess that is a tough city to live in..
stuck up………….could be a label a guy used to justified the lack of responses from women. Or it could be true.
In NYC, there are a lot of men with issues as well! I think a lot of us are afraid of taking a chance meeting someone new at a bar because they haven’t really been “pre-screened,” and not necessarily because they don’t have the right “look.” I’ll talk to almost anyone who talks to me, but once they start getting on my nerves, I take off. Does that make me stuck-up?
*o* so glad u started taking outpatients! its what i look forward to reading everyday
I don’t think you can classify girls by the region of the country they’re from.
I guess I’m the “director.” I actually film the stuff and edit it. It’s silly short films for my church, so nothing that’s a huge dea, but I’m hoping to get it to be better quality (you know me…I’ve got mad skills..)
hahaha. yeah, i always thought nyc girls were stuckup but then again I never met a hardcore/native nyc girl. any more foodie pics?
hahah Thanks Dr.Fongster ! i will repeat after u “I am not cheap”
haha. that’s an awesome shirt! my cousin almost bought one that said, “if i wanted your opinion, i’d take my dick out of your mouth.” lol. classic.
No pictures this time?
*faints
Hopefully New York shall be mine next year, and shall definitely fly to JFK based on your advice.
The new york girls you met seemed to be nice.
Yes I do work for Toyota. Yes. I could hook you up with a discount. Though you need to be here in Cali. =) New York sounds fun. I consider any girls in the city a bit agressive not necessarily stuck up. We just know what we want. Why waste time? =)
But they invested in themselves, don’t you see? Why would you settle for less if you’ve invested in yourself?
it’s (still) true.
some women are stuck up and some men have the patience to put up with it.
I guess you can call NY women ”stuck-up” if you don’t got the balls to approach one. Confident women like confident men.
As you can see, us NY girls are very nice!! =) As, for that girl at the club, I don’t think she was stuck-up….just inexperienced with dealing with people…hehe
Interesting topic! didnt know gals in different regions in the States can vary so much! From the several american blogs that ive read, cali gals seem to be more fun-loving and sociable…
LOL, i like the busy in heaven joke!
re NY women stuck-up ~ actually i think not only nyc women stuck-up, lot of women in other country or cities do too… :p
personally I believe women are more likely to be stuck up than men. just a theory…of course I’m not admitting to being stuck up or anything…lol
u’ve seen ladder 49, then? how was it?
I’m not from the city, but from Jersey. I go to the city all the time, and have also lived in upstate NY. Upstate NY girls are exceedingly nice and are too friendly (compared to Jersey standards). NYCity women arent that stuck up.. its more that we like to keep to ourselves. You kinda dont just talk to people if you dont know them, ya know? So in a sense maybe youre right.. for a city woman to talk to someone she doesnt know, he has to have SOMETHING other than good conversation to interest her.
ur xanga is very um…interesting…propz
Vite Right. Be informed.
i personally do not think we are stuck up, yes some of them are but a majority are not. i happen to not be stuck up at all. thats just my opinion
interesting but i think hk girls are a little more stuck up
propz — any tips on how to make my site better?
lol – Your advice column cracks me up!
And I was too busy trying to conquer all the tourist attractions in NYC to notice the women there. I did notice a lot of model-types who just minded their own business on the subway, though…
i think it’s just like some others have said, nyc women know what they want. it may be a function of their being older (and presumably, do not want to waste time on frivolous men) and/or more career-oriented women in nyc, but women do know what they want in the city.
come on, women in ny are sweet as kittens. come to tokyo or hong kong, where the competition can get rough, honey.
if you are attractive, smart and making good money, why do you need to waste your time on every tom, dick and harry that tries to chat you up. Borrriiing. we have choices……….women get offered dick all the time. we need more than that.
American women in general seem to have the stereotype of being less gentle/feminine and more money conscience than non american females.
regarding rabbit:
I ate bunny but his opinions are still stabbing me! Why wont they go away? or is that indigestion?
Luckily…my significant other is practically computer illiterate, and does not know my xanga name…. He wouldn’t be too pleased to have seen my target of lust….*wink* But just to play it safe from other’s who may come across my page, I put the post on protected status. (Trust me, NYC is a pretty SMALL city….=)
yes first picture is me
heheh~ same comment on singapore women compare to the neighbouring countries’s…
Dear Fongster:
Where do you think are good places to find a good guy?
Sincerely,
A Single Good Gal
without a doubt. many women now have that SHIT DON’T STINK OF AN ATTITUDE PROBLEM, and are so very hard to COMMUNICATE WITH.
especially when you try to start a normal conversation with them.
without a doubt, and so many women today are so very badly messed up for cursing at us men out there that are seriously looking for a good woman to meet to have a relationship with. i don’t expect to be cursed at by a woman that i am really attracted too, and this has happened to me already. do you think it is normal for a woman to curse at a man that is trying to get to know her, especially when he is single and doesn’t have a love life right now? of course not.
New York women are the absolute worst.